What kind of mother would say

(in one ten minute phone conversation, no less)
"she's going to fail and come crawling back home and that's OK and I'll take the baby. I miss him anyways."
"When she fails where she is, they'll put her in alcohol rehab and call me for the baby. I'm the grandparent - that's who gets the first pick. And I'll take him." (regardless of the fact that she is 2000+ miles away and would not be able to provide visitation)
"She's not going to make it. I don't even know if she'll make the 6 months out there. She's too much like me. And when she comes crawling home again drunk, I'll take the baby."
"When she was 17 she came home drunk and I called the police and begged them to scare this sh** out of her so she'd never drink again. (chuckling) They cut her clothes off starting at the ankle and were not nice. The even left bruises on her, but there's no teen alcohol program here that isn't court ordered, so they let her out. But those nurses took SOO much blood, every excuse and chance they could get -oops- we need more blood! And I had the baby!"
"But she's got to fail and come crawling back because she's just like me!"
......

Oh, wait, I know, the one who keeps unsupervised (or unattended... I don't know the right term right now) alcohol in the house with a teen who they know has a problem, (illegally) grows "medical" MJ and sells it on the street (effectively endangering the opportunity for those who are responsible and receive actual medical benefits from it when they do, safely and -again- responsibly, use it in lieu of heavy narcotics that have intense side effects and frequenty can't really be fraught off or functioned through to treat or help with severe muscle spasms, pain, nausea, severe migraines, and/or the side effects of cancer or other medical treatments), one who has exposed said child to who knows what?, who raised a child to disregard every rule/limit/expectation because any other parenting style would require attention, supervision, and a lack of narcotics and alcoholism in oneself, who lies, begs, cheats and steals, who takes said child/teen mother's welfare benefits/food stamps, who left the child with no dental care (or just couldn't be bothered to take them to the dentist) so that they now have to have several teeth pulled including the front two tops ones) and all of them drilled, who doesn't care enough to teach a child not to suck their thumb so at almost twenty they still carry a "binky" and have a wrinkled thumb from the constant sucking, probably need braces, and (if you missed it) who wants the baby because it's cute and young.
I remember now why I have basically DEdopted that family. Hee, hee, I made a new word.