Stormy with a Chance for Sunshine: This is a new one:

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

This is a new one:

Wo-ow.
Our girls having a fairly (I think) NT battle!
I made the stupid choice to Go To The Bathroom without sending the girls to their rooms. I know better than this %95 of the time. I just *really* had to pee.

Sunshine started splashing water from her cup at Fe then started shooting food from her plate at her. (SS is almost 10)
Fe started to get *we'll say angry. Really angry" and then tried to get out of the situation. She took her plate and tried to go into the coat closet. (Fe is going to be 13 in March.)
Sunshine followed, taunting her big sister.
Sunshine splashed water on Fe.
Fe "hit" Sunshine with her fork. No, I don't know what force she used, just that there was no blood.
I came out of the bathroom and told both girls they were going to bed early.
This really (Really) ticked Fe OFF. She went to her bedroom and locked the door.
I sent Sunshine to the shower and called Fe to do her chores.

Fe took a big breath and yelled that first, very testing, defiant "NO!" (very toddler style "no" too... It struck me as more "cute" than anything else.)

When I turned around and said those two terrifying words, "Excuuuse me?" she started to chuckle in a very nervous way. I told her to move it and she went to work..

After both girls her showered, I had them sit on my bedroom floor and TALK ABOUT IT (can you imagine???) This basically involved Fe trying to make Sunshine and me feel guilty for everything Sunshine has done "bad" over the past three years and Sunshine saying Sorry and asking Fe to stop gossiping about her to Fe's friends.
I finally had enough of the "poor me" party and sent them to bed.

Now it's seven and both girls are tucked in their beds, sang to, and the house is quiet.

It was just surprising to finally get that big "no" from Fe. It's only taken her about two years, eight months to try it out with us.

If it had been Sunshine, I would have gotten a little more off-put, but this came from the frightfully perfect one. Is it wrong of me to see this as humor and progress and growth instead of simple defiance and disrespect?

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HI! We're so glad you came to share with us!
We would love to hear your thoughts and questions!

The Players- "name"(placement duration) - info including age at placement

3g- our "third girl" ((was Lil1 3 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned to OUR LIVES Feb 2012 when her sister was placed back with us.) She's growing up to be a beautiful, smart girl who now loves Barbies and reading. She loves being withher family and getting to play with big sister again! Certainly still same issues (OK, more than she used to) but is working hard.
AuntM -Born in 1992, MommyT's Oldest (in contact) sibling. Has a son who she is working hard to be a better-than-hers mother to.
Big1(Nov2008-May2009) - 6 years old. Attachment issues, sex abuse, night terrors, the works! Loves princesses and tinkerbell.
DaddyJ -Born in 1983, Friends with MommaM since grade school, Our fosters call him J, our LMS calls him Daddy
Fe -((was Big1 -6 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned Feb2012 PERMANENT GUARDIANSHIP granted February 2012) 10 years old. Attachment issues (possible/borderline RAD), sex abuse, night terrors, PTSD, ADHD, possible FAS, Failure to Thrive (or starvation, hard to tell which), physical abuse, the works! Pretends to be an animal 80+ % of the time & will turn anything into an "lets be horses" version, Loves princesses and Tinkerbell; has a fairly mild case of B!eber fever.
Grunt - Born Dec 2008, AuntM's son!. Very smart, and likes to learn. A little rough and tumble, but is quickly becoming a sweet little boy.
Lil1 (Nov2008-May2009) - 3 years old. Attachment issues, maybe sex abuse, sleeps wonderfully. Not anywhere near ready for potty training. Also loves princesses! (and care bears!)
MommaM - born 1983, partnered with MommaT since 2003, carried the baby we're pretty sure we lost before we even confirmed
MommaT- born 1982, partnered with MommaM since 2003 (MommyT's family will usually be tagged with "first Family" because... that's just kinda how it feels)
P and A (12hours)- our first, almost placement. Would have come to us at 18 and 5 months old. Ended up being one day of babysitting for the biofamily.
Sunshine- (July2009 - ADOPTION FINAL July 2010) - 4 years old. CF, PTSD, FAS, RAD, Failure to Thrive, physical abuse, emotional abuse, possible sex abuse. She's a ton of sunshine when she's not trying to kill us!
UncleT - MommaM's big (only) brother... LMS thinks he rocks the Casbah! He is awesomely good with LMS!

Terms and Abbreviations we use

BF/BM/BD -birth family/ birth mom/ birth dad
CFRD - Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes
CPS worker/caseworker - - These are the people who are in charge of figuring out the best situation for the children.
Cystic fibrosis (CF) - a disease that causes the body to make thick, sticky mucus. This causes problems in two major areas: the lungs and the digestive system. Cystic fibrosis affects more than 30,000 children and young adults in the United States. It can be mild or severe, depending on the person. http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/heart/cystic_fibrosis.html
FDS (worker) - "family developement specialis" This is the guy who is supposed to be looking out for our best interests. Help the CPS worker place kids with the most appropriate family for their situation.
FPA - Foster Parent Association. A "club" of sorts that runs a non-profit clothes/toy/furniture closet where foster parents can come get what they need for their kiddos, they take donations from FPs/the community/everyone, and donate it only to foster parents, when we're done with it, we can return it or save it to use with the next child. They don't even try to keep record of who has what, just use the honor system. Another great thing about this program is that we can donate the stuff we aren't using, freeing up space in our home.
HUB - CPS intake/call center, where kids go if they need a stop between FF and BF, place where a FEW supervised visits occasionally take place in special circumstances.
PFT - Pulmonary Function Test ==>FEV1 - the percent of the lung that a person can use to circulate air. (Sunshine's current baseline FEV1 is 85%)
Respite - Respite, Inc. A childcare center for special needs kiddos ranging from mild retardation/disability up to severe physical/cognitive disabilities. Every day at respite is pretty much filled with fun, trips, play and art. There are (real) nurses to handle medication(s), everyone is specially trained in how to handle EACH child's individual needs, and there's a ratio of no more than two kids to one adult.

Stormy with a Chance for Sunshine

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

This is a new one:

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The Players- "name"(placement duration) - info including age at placement

Terms and Abbreviations we use