RANT

Ok, now, I know we're new at this. I know I have absolutely no idea what's really going on. However, I suspect that the kiddos we were going to get are staying with their family. Which is GREAT... Except, couldn't someone (anyone) have called us and told us that they didn't need us to be at home, within arms reach of the phone until 9 PM??? I mean seriously. The meeting started at five, ok that's great, and sure we can be available by phone for the duration. Any idea how long the meeting will be? No, but our FF worker is leaving no later than six when he will call us and let us know what's up? OK, that's fine, we'll be there... five - nothing. five thirty - nothing. six thrity - nothing - our caseworker has left by now... maybe he'll call soon and let us know what's up. seven - still nothing. eight - still nothing, on any front - we're assuming that the family came up with something to keep them out of care. nine - ok, now this is just rude! -- Let's point out that one of us has missed the class following their MIDTERM in STATISTICS. The class when they would have gotten their MIDTERM GRADE. And we don't warrant a phone call. We are, both, genuinely happy that the kids will be staying with family. HOWEVER, we are beginning to understand why all the foster parents' whose blogs we read *complain just a little* about feeling walked all over and undervalued, about how their family caseworkers are unreliable... yeah, we're starting to get that. It took him four months to get us certified, primary reason? It took him three and a half months to get us to the board. We were told in PRIDE class that we should go to the board (and be certified) within sixty days. Let's review, four months is generally accepted as being about 120 days. He met with us three or four times during those 120 days, and scheduled meetings at least ten times. We did not cancel once, but were sitting around waiting for him when he called, twenty minutes after he was supposed to arrive at our home. Speaking of phone calls, we called him at least twice a week (squeaky wheel logic) for sixteen weeks (that’s four months, 120 days... you get the idea). We left voice mails at least 30% of the time. He returned our calls <10% of the time.
Now, will we complain to his supervisor? No, because we're a couple of dykes, one in a wheelchair, who live off SSI and just want to make a contribution to society (we have the ability to do this financially because we are good at using resources and budgeting tightly enough to produce diamonds out of unspeakable orifices). AKA, we don't want to rock the boat.
We're getting this nagging little feeling that we may have been offered these children simply for the purpose of "using" us beyond the spectrum of "foster family".
We babysat for them one day this week. For free. So that the kids could get to know us a little better so that they would freak out as badly when they most likely(90% sure) came to live with us on Thursday because the children's caseworker just didn't see any way this family could provide a safe environment for them.
Now, it's not all just this would be our first placement and the family found a good "family option" stuff. Part of it is the other three calls we've gotten: a) We have a five year old for you! Is he still in a crib/toddler bed, in diapers, or otherwise in the parameters of our set up? No. Then we really aren't set up for him, don't have any toys for him, aren't prepared to go to school five days a week on top of visitation, and don't feel like we would make a good match. b) We have a three year old for you, ok, so really she's about to turn four, like, in a month. T has oral surgery scheduled tomorrow plus, it doesn't sound like she's still in a toddler bed or like we are otherwise set up for her, this is bad timing on out part, we are really sorry... c) We have a 17 year old and her two year old, if you're willing to take them, we know you aren't set up(!), but if you throw a mattress on the floor in the nursery or just let her sleep on the couch, we'll take it! Ok, we can do that; we can even set up a bed in the nursery and keep the monitor on to help guide her in nighttime parenting. Oops, wrong county, syke! They'll be placed in another part of the state. I'm feeling a bit toyed with. We are set up for 0-36 MONTHS old. in a bassinet, crib, or transitional bed. We have toys for 0-36 month old children. We have clothes for preemie-36 month old children. We have car seats for 4-40lb children. We have both gone to college and been trained in the care and raising of 0-36 month old children. Neither of us is experienced or comfortable with (pre)school-age children, we feel we can adapt slowly to this, and do not want to just be dumped into it. (Put the frog legs in cold water and heat it up with them inside, heat the water up first and they will jump out... according to my Nana on the making of frog leg soup, no, I've never eaten it.) THEY LIKED THIS FIVE MONTHS AGO. Oh wait, come to think of it, he did cert us for 0-4 years old...



****update****
We got a call from our FF worker this evening while we were out. We'll let him get away with it, primarily because he sounded just as tired and fed up as we are. Apparently, the CPS worker didn't let him know what was up until late today: the family did come up with a plan, which they will be allowed to "try for one or two weeks" but "they may still be looking at us if it doesn't work 'for respite'". I don't know exactly what that is supposed to mean, it sounds like, if the family's plan doesn't work out as a 24/7 thing, then we may use you as a babysitter one or two days a week. Which sounds like 'free weekend babysitter', not foster care, especially since the kids still wouldn't be in the system, but would be in non-certified kinship care.
We haven't even known the person for a week, and already we don't like these kids' CPS worker.

-T