I have a meeting with who was meant to be OUR support as foster parents at noon tomorrow. I am to show her the car vest (that she has already seen and we have discussed on multiple occasions, and is now claiming to have NEVER seen), and I am terrified and enraged. I have been trying to reach an attorney that has agreed to help when needed, but I doubt I will hear from him in time. This is so ridiculous. The department says that rather than restrain we must find and prevent all triggers, move her away from all things that could be dangerous or call the cops.
First of all, many children in care have too many triggers to count, and the ability to prevent them all is something that no one has. Secondly. It is impossible to move all things that could harm the child, when the child will use a wall to beat their own head in. Lastly, calling the cops? Well that could work except, in the time it takes help to arrive, the child may do irreparable damage to herself or others (including innocent animals. This is without mentioning the trauma that would be inflicted on the child by having police show up, and if they remove them?.... for a child with RAD, these circumstances would create an endless cycle.
The point of all of this is... Yes, I placed a child in a gentle restraint, and allowed her to calm down. At that point the child unhooked and released themselves( that just shows how truly restrained she was), and went on to have a great day. I prevented a child from jumping through a closed window, and then prevented her rom killing our animals. I will not apologize or that. The only thing that I am sorry for doing, is trusting CPS to use good judgement.
I am scared or our daughter though....I they remove her from this home, it will never end for her. I am so scared. As for me? Well my career is over. If we make it through this with our daughter, that will not matter.
This situation has been made more difficult, because lil miss is really pusing us away. It is hard. It is scary. It is sad. *sigh*
-MommyM
Sunday, August 01, 2010
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I didn't know until this weekend, when my sister told me, about the bias against restraint that agencies have. My sister was with a private agency who didn't "turn her in" for restraint, though they didn't like it. I totally feel for you. I wonder if the people who preach against restraint have had a child who wanted to go through a closed window? So sad. I am so glad Sunshine has you on her side. And am praying for you. Can't be easy doesn't even go near it anywhere. My sister's foster son has been out of the home since early June and she still has PTSD responses -- due to always being on edge, always being ready to react to a very violent moment from someone you love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts Lessie. I doubt the people creating this policy get it at all.
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