It's 430AM here.
I hate needle fear.
I hate giving myself injections.
I hate panic attacks.
I hate dead batteries.
I HATE CF.
(My 8 year old also hates CF.)
I hate having weak arms.
I hate bloody coughs. (even when I think it may be from her throat, not her lungs.)
I hate "MS relapses" and the mental mush that comes with them.
I hate numbness and poor balance and weakness.
I hate those few hours when it's not Saturday but it's not Sunday, it's just... the perfect time to try to convince youself to finally do an injection because you've run out of procrastinations and distractions and the only thing left to do is finally stab yourslef and GtFtS (which, it you haven't read the book, is "Go the Frack to Sleep"(only it's not "frack", it's a much less nice word)).
I am TIRED of being an alphabet soup family.
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It's a long road up ahead and life is stormy... But there's a chance that there may be Sunshine showing through eventually.
How long???
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Followers
The Players- "name"(placement duration) - info including age at placement
- 3g- our "third girl" ((was Lil1 3 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned to OUR LIVES Feb 2012 when her sister was placed back with us.) She's growing up to be a beautiful, smart girl who now loves Barbies and reading. She loves being withher family and getting to play with big sister again! Certainly still same issues (OK, more than she used to) but is working hard.
- AuntM -Born in 1992, MommyT's Oldest (in contact) sibling. Has a son who she is working hard to be a better-than-hers mother to.
- Big1(Nov2008-May2009) - 6 years old. Attachment issues, sex abuse, night terrors, the works! Loves princesses and tinkerbell.
- DaddyJ -Born in 1983, Friends with MommaM since grade school, Our fosters call him J, our LMS calls him Daddy
- Fe -((was Big1 -6 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned Feb2012 PERMANENT GUARDIANSHIP granted February 2012) 10 years old. Attachment issues (possible/borderline RAD), sex abuse, night terrors, PTSD, ADHD, possible FAS, Failure to Thrive (or starvation, hard to tell which), physical abuse, the works! Pretends to be an animal 80+ % of the time & will turn anything into an "lets be horses" version, Loves princesses and Tinkerbell; has a fairly mild case of B!eber fever.
- Grunt - Born Dec 2008, AuntM's son!. Very smart, and likes to learn. A little rough and tumble, but is quickly becoming a sweet little boy.
- Lil1 (Nov2008-May2009) - 3 years old. Attachment issues, maybe sex abuse, sleeps wonderfully. Not anywhere near ready for potty training. Also loves princesses! (and care bears!)
- MommaM - born 1983, partnered with MommaT since 2003, carried the baby we're pretty sure we lost before we even confirmed
- MommaT- born 1982, partnered with MommaM since 2003 (MommyT's family will usually be tagged with "first Family" because... that's just kinda how it feels)
- P and A (12hours)- our first, almost placement. Would have come to us at 18 and 5 months old. Ended up being one day of babysitting for the biofamily.
- Sunshine- (July2009 - ADOPTION FINAL July 2010) - 4 years old. CF, PTSD, FAS, RAD, Failure to Thrive, physical abuse, emotional abuse, possible sex abuse. She's a ton of sunshine when she's not trying to kill us!
- UncleT - MommaM's big (only) brother... LMS thinks he rocks the Casbah! He is awesomely good with LMS!
Terms and Abbreviations we use
- BF/BM/BD -birth family/ birth mom/ birth dad
- CFRD - Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes
- CPS worker/caseworker - - These are the people who are in charge of figuring out the best situation for the children.
- Cystic fibrosis (CF) - a disease that causes the body to make thick, sticky mucus. This causes problems in two major areas: the lungs and the digestive system. Cystic fibrosis affects more than 30,000 children and young adults in the United States. It can be mild or severe, depending on the person. http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/heart/cystic_fibrosis.html
- FDS (worker) - "family developement specialis" This is the guy who is supposed to be looking out for our best interests. Help the CPS worker place kids with the most appropriate family for their situation.
- FPA - Foster Parent Association. A "club" of sorts that runs a non-profit clothes/toy/furniture closet where foster parents can come get what they need for their kiddos, they take donations from FPs/the community/everyone, and donate it only to foster parents, when we're done with it, we can return it or save it to use with the next child. They don't even try to keep record of who has what, just use the honor system. Another great thing about this program is that we can donate the stuff we aren't using, freeing up space in our home.
- HUB - CPS intake/call center, where kids go if they need a stop between FF and BF, place where a FEW supervised visits occasionally take place in special circumstances.
- PFT - Pulmonary Function Test ==>FEV1 - the percent of the lung that a person can use to circulate air. (Sunshine's current baseline FEV1 is 85%)
- Respite - Respite, Inc. A childcare center for special needs kiddos ranging from mild retardation/disability up to severe physical/cognitive disabilities. Every day at respite is pretty much filled with fun, trips, play and art. There are (real) nurses to handle medication(s), everyone is specially trained in how to handle EACH child's individual needs, and there's a ratio of no more than two kids to one adult.
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