But, not for long...

We all know that last wednesday Sunshine got out of Children's Psych Inpatient, she came home with diagnosis of RAD (ya' think), and a few other things including the all-new(!) Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD).

That lasted a total of FIVE DAYS!!!

On Tuesday she kind of lost it and freaked out and couldn't be safe.
I had to go pick up Fe from her after school program (she is rockin' crochet (three days a week) and is back in robotics (just on Wednesdays), which means she stays late four days a week). And Sunshine didn't want to.. do anything(?) She was "not making her best choices at school, loud and disrespectful on the bus, and when she got home, she just... didn't. want. to. cooperate.

Now, I started it and I know it. Coming off the bus, I asked how she did (not great) then asked her to come back and apologize to the driver bse. she is having trouble making good choices and that needs to change. Now, the driver did a totally *me* thing and basically told her to "prove it" by changing her behavior. I agreed with the driver and told Sunshine that the words need to be just the beginning and she needs to show some respect to the driver. Sunshine did not like that.
Then I asked Sunshine to quickly come in and start her (every.single.day.) after school routine (basically, start her chest percussion therapy (vest) without playing around). Sunshine wanted to play and talk to MommyM and find other ways to procrastinate. I had 25 minutes before we had. to. go. and her vest takes about 23. Tight is an understatement to describe our schedule. After ten minutes of time-wasting and arguing, I had no time to get what as needed done. We had to go.
So she started throwing a fit, including throwing herself and her coat on the floor and wailing when I wouldn't let her find a way to take longer.
I took her hand and elbow, brought her to standing, she chose to yell at me and hit instead of picking her coat up and heading out. I walked her out the front door, coat still on the ground, and she refused to buckle up. After FOUR opportunities and the warning that if she didn't have her seatbelt on Before I got done doing what I was doing, she was wearing her "car vest" ZERO chances.
She refused, I followed through.
Though stuck, she decided to announce that she has going to hurt my service dog. At this point, she tried to use the middle seat belt try to whip my Sally Dog who I called up beside me. Since I was on that, she tried to use the seatbelt on me; announcing that she was going to kill me and cause an accident to kill other people too.
Knowing she was unable to reach me and unable to get free of the car vest, I drove the remaining three blocks to Fe's school, whom she announced she was going to hurt, then kill, as soon as she got in the van.
At this point, I had a big problem.
The seat belt was attached to the vehicle so I couldn't really just "take it away" and the "jump seat" we installed is really close to her seat, making it possible for her to whip her sister with the seat belt.
Bse. she was still trying to hurt me and the dog, I didn't feel that I had control of the situation. Against my every instinct, I called for police assistance.
When the police showed up, I asked Fe to take my Sally and sit on the schoolhouse steps while they tried to talk Sunshine down. She did such a great job! Fe and Sally sat on the steps, Fe playing on her Kindle and Sally watching quietly(!!! true miracle, this dog NEVER shuts up when I need her to!!!) beside her.
Sunshine tried to hit the officers with the seat belt. When that didn't work; in a frighteningly calm voice, she very matter-of-factly informed the male officer that when she finally got out of the car vest she was going to kill him and his partner, then me, her sister, and Sally. The officers asked if I wanted to have her go home or the hospital.

I didn't feel that, at that point, I could safely manage her at home so I asked that she be taken to a nearby hospital (Children's is too far away for an emergency ambulance trip). While she continued to attempt to break the van windows, I decided to get in and try to manage her. The officer stood at the door while I got hold of the seat belt (I sat on it so she couldn't get it back), then her hand when she tried to hit me, then her legs when she started kicking. This whole time she continued to assure me that she would be killing me soon. The officers, while surprised by my calm and "positive" attitude the whole time, agreed and called for an ambulance.
When the EMTs arrived, she threatened their lifes too.One got into the van, showed her the vile of Ativan, and gave her two choices, get out of the van in an orderly, safe fashion, or get medication to take a medically induced nap.
She tried to act tough, then he produced the syringe, saying she would be stabbed in the butt with his big, scary looking, needle, she straightened right up and calmly walked directly to that gurney and climbed on, no problems at all. (LOL)
I took Fe home and told MommyM all about the situation.
MommyM and GrammaK headed to the hospital while I got Fe settled in for the night. bse she was still unruly, the hospital put Sunshine on a 72 hour hold.
The hold is up at around 6PM tonight. (No, but thanks for asking. We actually didn't get any valuable sleep last night!)...

At noon-ish today, the caseworker for this stay called us into the consult room and let us know that the 72-hour hold was up this evening. We instantly started voicing concern, both got fear/stress faces, and she quickly said SHE didn't feel Sunshine could go home and continue (ha - start) to be safe. (enter sigh of relief, fought back tears, and "brave" smiles of "OhThankGawd"). They admitted her at noon-forty-five-ish "involuntarily" (she's ten-years-and-fifty-weeks-old, what's she going to do, walk out in the cold, in the dark, in the winter, alone and call US to pick her up? I'd come, for sure. I'd grab her hand, (OR, I'd pick her up, put her over my shoulder) walk her happy butt right back inside and ask them to secure her there more effectively.) until Children's - or someplace (apparently they need skilled nurses to run two machines for twenty minutes, twice a day.WHERE the fuck has MY nurse been for the past SIX YEARS???) - has a bed available for her or she magically becomes regulated.

So... that's where we're at... Sunshine's nuts and if she can play the game for 24 hours, we'll be back to running a jail house... the past three days with Fe have been quiet and, dare I say, kinda fun. We can joke with her without fits, we can smile. She can tell us about her day without anger and the meanness and the yelling and fits. I feel guilty but, things are... better here.., more like what people expect when they have kiddos.