Just an update... part 2

***This post edited into two for my own sanity's sake.***

And on another note. She is showing "classic signs of a schizophrenic episode". NO shit Sherlock... "She's been spiraling for days"... ya don't say???...

Hey, we actually live here. We actually deal with the day to day crap. WE called for help during the actual crisis and didn't need you to tell us to hospitalize her AFTER WE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL ON OUR OWN because you didn't have time or desire to help. And really... You think we didn't call the psych on our own? Or maybe you just don't think we recognize the whole crappy picture ... or maybe that's you. Cystic Fibrosis. We have it. YES, schizo, "all signs point to yes" says the magic 8 ball. Reactive Attachment Disorder. We have that too and it has to be weighed into every discision we make. We may not talk about it often, but we work with it. We make decisions based on the effects they will have not only on the Crisis, but also on the Recovery.

We cannot and do not look at any one of these three when making decisions. The CF has nothing to do with mental health, but a mental health facility is not likely to be prepared to understand the details of dealing with CF. Not doing it correctly could endanger our daughters life, well being, and mental status. Schizo. We knew, before we got her. We knew the history as well as we could. No one knows the outcome yet and no one will until the outcome has come out. RAD... We knew that too. We need to stop being as naive as we are, but it's a learning thing that you don't know anything about until you are actually living it day in and day out. Weekends are a joke because she doesn't yet know what you'll do. The psych? No clue either, even though she's known LMS for much longer. She will lose the thread of attachment that is starting to form if we hospitalize her.

They all mesh together and have to be treated like a pureed soup. There is no picking the mushrooms out. Take it, or leave us the hell alone and stop playing.

Today? She fought for minimal self control. She mostly succeeded.

Except for the moment when she locked me out of the house when I took the dog to pee.... she will be joining me on that trip from now on and NO, I would not have hesitated to break a window if she had not let me in the instant I started beating on the door like I would bust through it (although, my bedroom window is open and I would have probably just popped it off it's track which would be faster and less likely to cut me thus slowing me down).

But she even recovered from that.

I love summer because summer means baseball and baseball is a HUGE INCENTIVE to do whatever it takes to get to go to the game. Even if that means doing your vest and eating your food and not killing anyone. Because if we manage to complete these very, very difficult tasks... There will be baseball.

Baseball: cheering together. Talking about the same subject. Playing. Singing songs. Dancing on a mom's lap. Dressing in Rockies clothes. Matching as a family. Eating out of a baseball cap. Being so tired everyone but the driver drools and/or stares out the window all the way home.

This is how we will bond.