Just an update... part 1

During my second round or steroids, I came home and she wasn't allowed to speak. Followed my wife to the back of the house, already almost in tears because, well, that's what five days of steroids does to me... and wife told me she had gotten into our room, pilfered a match, hid it in her room, and lit it.

You must realize at this point that my house burned down when I was ten. Animals died, we discovered the fired exactly two minutes before the laundry room and kitchen exploded... She's lucky I wasn't home. I would have freaked. out.

She opened her bedroom door to go to the bathroom. Left it open so that they wouldn't know how long she was out. Went in our room, climbed a shelf, stole, snuck back into her room, and quietly shut the door.

She no longer gets the nice door opening chime.

She has a 120dec siren that goes off for the duration of the door being open.

I still stand outside the door while she pees.

Sigh...

She steals everything. Everything. Candy. Toys. Food. Tools. Perfume. Trash. Some of us would like to believe it is normal five year old testing limits. Others remember that at five we stole our moms cigarettes and broke them and flushed them down the toilet. Once. We DID NOT try to light our house on fire or use enough logic to almost get away with it. We did not hide our loot in insane places like the inside of our pillow (not the case, the actual pillow.), the inside of the WALLS of our play house, taped to the bottoms of our drawers, inside our medical equipment, or in the hems of our clothing. As teenagers, yes. But at five? NO.

House.

Fire.

On.

Tried she did.

OY.

***This post edited into two for my own sanity's sake.***