Stormy with a Chance for Sunshine: SILENCE!!! I keell you

Monday, January 26, 2009

SILENCE!!! I keell you

Then we went to pick up Big1 from school, she had to wait in the car with MommyM while I went and grabbed Big1, this pissed Lil1 off too!
We reminded ~~our whiney little monster and her big sis~~ darling angels that we were going to CS... They became happy and chatty all. the. way. there.
Don't get me wrong, we love it when Big1 is in a good mood, when she's happy and cheery and ready to go... but damn, I was driving on (mom...) ICE, literally, and it was a whole 8 degrees Fahren(mom...)heit outside, and I was trying to (mom...)focus on not letting (mommy...) all the other (hey, mom, look...)idiots KILL (and, hey, mommy!)US... which actually takes some ~~momcentration~~ concentration on the first *real* snow day of the season. Mom looking is NOT a good idea when said mom is trying to focus on the big rig considering jack-knifing in front of us.
We get through town, and I turn onto the snow/iciest street in town, slide to a well planned stop at a stop sign, watch another car try to spin out, and announce calmly yet firmly, "MommyT is using her *whole brain* to drive safely right now. MommyT cannot use her *whole brain* to focus on driving if there is someone making her brain worry about using her ears. I want to keep up all safe, so I need everyone to sit and be very still and very quiet, so I can keep using my *whole brain* to keep this car on this road. OK?"

I hear "yes mommy" and the whole car goes silent.

FOR TEN SECONDS....

When....

I enter a school zone, complete with children and crossing guards....

and....

MOMMYM starts talking, to MOMMYT!?!?!?

I lift up a hand and "SHHHHHH!"

The car falls quiet again...

About a mile later, I am in a place where I can talk, "honey... I'm sorry I shushed you, that was just a REALLY SCARY point on our little trip and I had *just* asked everyone to hush! the girls were so good at keeping quiet! (whispers) and you chose just when they got quiet to start talking to me???"
I know, it's OK, you drove that really well, I'm sorry, will we be able to avoid that going home? (yes, I just went this way because I know how to get here from there and I'm not as sure of my turns on *main thoroughfare*, I know how to get back on *main thoroughfare*)

-T

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HI! We're so glad you came to share with us!
We would love to hear your thoughts and questions!

The Players- "name"(placement duration) - info including age at placement

3g- our "third girl" ((was Lil1 3 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned to OUR LIVES Feb 2012 when her sister was placed back with us.) She's growing up to be a beautiful, smart girl who now loves Barbies and reading. She loves being withher family and getting to play with big sister again! Certainly still same issues (OK, more than she used to) but is working hard.
AuntM -Born in 1992, MommyT's Oldest (in contact) sibling. Has a son who she is working hard to be a better-than-hers mother to.
Big1(Nov2008-May2009) - 6 years old. Attachment issues, sex abuse, night terrors, the works! Loves princesses and tinkerbell.
DaddyJ -Born in 1983, Friends with MommaM since grade school, Our fosters call him J, our LMS calls him Daddy
Fe -((was Big1 -6 years old- Nov2008-May2009) returned Feb2012 PERMANENT GUARDIANSHIP granted February 2012) 10 years old. Attachment issues (possible/borderline RAD), sex abuse, night terrors, PTSD, ADHD, possible FAS, Failure to Thrive (or starvation, hard to tell which), physical abuse, the works! Pretends to be an animal 80+ % of the time & will turn anything into an "lets be horses" version, Loves princesses and Tinkerbell; has a fairly mild case of B!eber fever.
Grunt - Born Dec 2008, AuntM's son!. Very smart, and likes to learn. A little rough and tumble, but is quickly becoming a sweet little boy.
Lil1 (Nov2008-May2009) - 3 years old. Attachment issues, maybe sex abuse, sleeps wonderfully. Not anywhere near ready for potty training. Also loves princesses! (and care bears!)
MommaM - born 1983, partnered with MommaT since 2003, carried the baby we're pretty sure we lost before we even confirmed
MommaT- born 1982, partnered with MommaM since 2003 (MommyT's family will usually be tagged with "first Family" because... that's just kinda how it feels)
P and A (12hours)- our first, almost placement. Would have come to us at 18 and 5 months old. Ended up being one day of babysitting for the biofamily.
Sunshine- (July2009 - ADOPTION FINAL July 2010) - 4 years old. CF, PTSD, FAS, RAD, Failure to Thrive, physical abuse, emotional abuse, possible sex abuse. She's a ton of sunshine when she's not trying to kill us!
UncleT - MommaM's big (only) brother... LMS thinks he rocks the Casbah! He is awesomely good with LMS!

Terms and Abbreviations we use

BF/BM/BD -birth family/ birth mom/ birth dad
CFRD - Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes
CPS worker/caseworker - - These are the people who are in charge of figuring out the best situation for the children.
Cystic fibrosis (CF) - a disease that causes the body to make thick, sticky mucus. This causes problems in two major areas: the lungs and the digestive system. Cystic fibrosis affects more than 30,000 children and young adults in the United States. It can be mild or severe, depending on the person. http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/heart/cystic_fibrosis.html
FDS (worker) - "family developement specialis" This is the guy who is supposed to be looking out for our best interests. Help the CPS worker place kids with the most appropriate family for their situation.
FPA - Foster Parent Association. A "club" of sorts that runs a non-profit clothes/toy/furniture closet where foster parents can come get what they need for their kiddos, they take donations from FPs/the community/everyone, and donate it only to foster parents, when we're done with it, we can return it or save it to use with the next child. They don't even try to keep record of who has what, just use the honor system. Another great thing about this program is that we can donate the stuff we aren't using, freeing up space in our home.
HUB - CPS intake/call center, where kids go if they need a stop between FF and BF, place where a FEW supervised visits occasionally take place in special circumstances.
PFT - Pulmonary Function Test ==>FEV1 - the percent of the lung that a person can use to circulate air. (Sunshine's current baseline FEV1 is 85%)
Respite - Respite, Inc. A childcare center for special needs kiddos ranging from mild retardation/disability up to severe physical/cognitive disabilities. Every day at respite is pretty much filled with fun, trips, play and art. There are (real) nurses to handle medication(s), everyone is specially trained in how to handle EACH child's individual needs, and there's a ratio of no more than two kids to one adult.

Stormy with a Chance for Sunshine

Monday, January 26, 2009

SILENCE!!! I keell you

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The Players- "name"(placement duration) - info including age at placement

Terms and Abbreviations we use