ONE YEAR (a blog in two posts - don't forget to read MommyM's side too!)

This morning, it was one year ago that a scared little girl, who had met us four times and spent a total of about 20 hours with us (all fun time - shopping for new clothes, movies, play houses, television, cuddling), was brought to our door by a caseworker, had all of her belongings carted in to the living room floor, and was left.
She was scared. Within a few days she was calling us "Mommy" and curling up on our laps.
She was complacent and compliant. She was easy. She was fun.

That lasted a long time. NOT. She was bamboozling us.

But today, *we* celebrated. We have hard charge of our daughter for 1 year. We've changed CWs, we've fought doctors, we learned that just because people have known Sunshine for "her whole life", "since she was adopted by BB", or "who have read her entire history", it pretty well means they know NOTHING and generally have their heads rammed so far up their own butts they look as flexible (and as dangerous) as a cobra.

So, we went out for frozen yogurt. A special treat which required NO ENZYMES, as that which we get has no fat and we only allowed fresh fruit as toppings.**
Then, we went to Panera bread, where she had a cheese sandwich with a "latte" (8oz vanilla ensure, plus 1Tbsp decaf light roast coffee, plus ice)
Then? A baseball game.

She handled the day fairly well, had a few moments of the grumps, but managed to recover and successfully make it through the day with no noteworthy consequences.

Minor trouble on the way home did not result in needing her car seat restraints, and the attitude during the goodnight routine was completely ignored.

All in all, a good day for celebration, even if she doesn't have any idea of the event.

Don't worry. I know tomorrow will suck. This is not a big step forward. But it was a good moment.

A few posts back, I mentioned a WHOLE NEW THING. After more talk and tears and deal considering than we probably needed, we decided that the this is poorly timed and a poor fit for our family. This one will stay heavy on our hearts. And that's all we can say.

The past year has been rough. We are not in the rough of it yet, and I know that. In the past few weeks I have had a few of you give me us support and encouragement and I just want to take this chance to tell you THANK YOU. It means more than you probably know. (especially with my tendency toward arguing as a method of processing. When I argue, I am thinking, I play the devil's advocate so I can find the flaws in everything. I don't show gratitude terribly well. I have horrid social skills. I know this. That's why I'm saying THANK YOU and please keep processing with me.)



**Mental note, I think WE feel worse about the constant influx of medication than she does. SHE would rather have taken pills and been allowed top her fro-yo with cookies, candy, and desserts. (WE would rather die, so it was a great excuse).