I think it scared her.
Now she wants us to hit her.
How do I know? she's doing the things that she usually does after she says "I love you" and *while* telling us that if we really love her we would spank her with a spatula, make her take a cold shower, and put hot peppers in her mouth. The things she tells us she will keep doing until she knows we love her because we "hurt me, because that means you love me. B hurt me because she's the only one that really really loves me. I think it's good to hurt. it means I love you."
I know where this worthless piece of...
I can has win temporary insanity plea?
From the mouth of my esteemed partner:
ReplyDeleteYes. You can haz. Is YOURS.
Because my kids come from a place where there are no files and there is no CPS.. we have no real idea of what happened to them and who did what. And because they are from a place of such huge abject poverty, I try to think of love as a luxury that their parents did not have to give them. (I think this is true.. if one looks at Maslow's hierarchy of needs.. when one is focused on food and water and shelter and survival.. love IS a luxury. But anyway.) It helps me to think that LMS's mother was likely just like LMS.. a victim of neglect and abuse, a RAD child before there was a name for it. How could she love? How could she care for a child when her brain was missing the essential connections .. and she did not have someone like you two to teach her that love is NOT pain.
ReplyDeleteYou will break the cycle. You will make the difference. Millimeter after heartbreaking millimeter.
@corey- except B is her _ADOPTIVE MOTHER_.
ReplyDeleteB passed all the states tests, had LMS in her home for @least 6 months, adopted her. Abused her for a year _telling LMS that she was doing abusive things_ "because she loved her" because a 2 year old wet the bed, or went into the kitchen, or didn't want to do an hour+ homework with her 9 year old sibling, or said "no" (again, 2 years old), or didn't want to eat the food served, or some other 2 year old tendency.
For this, my daughter got spanked with a spatula, fed what would appear to be at least cayenne, possibly habanero peppers, amongst other things, and given ice cold showers (even in winter, in the middle of the night) which eventually ended up with her having pnemonia, being in the hospital, and finally put into state custody.
There is no reason to think LMS had PTSD _before being placed into her adoptive home_. Her home study from study from before the first adoption says she's more stubborn and defiant than average, but no mention of attachment issues or PTSD. She was in the same foster home from the time she got out of the hospital around 2 months old to 18 months old.
The adoptive mother gave her up in order to keep her older two kids.
I'm sorry. It makes me crabby. She was given the option to get her back. She didn't want her. She was happier with just "her real children".
ReplyDeleteWow. Just...wow. Glad she's got you both...
ReplyDelete